The Republic of The Assyrian is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Malik Khoshaba with an iron fist, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, frequent executions, and national health service. The compassionate, cynical population of 3.429 billion Assyrians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ashur. The average income tax rate is 77.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Assyrian economy, worth 347 trillion Annakus a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 101,212 Annakus, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The family summer vacation has become a thing of the past following the introduction of the year-round school year, cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, old dogs don't have to learn new tricks but they have to prove they haven't forgotten old ones, and the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Assyrian's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Assyrian is ranked 228,795^th in the world and 8,562^nd in Osiris for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 23,177.55 Standard Monetary Units.